BROTHER MACHINE | the morning BM » BREAKING NEWS Get it here.

BM Eating Contest Update We Have A Winner!!

Mon, 04 May 2009 04:56:52 +0000

Winner to be announced soon!!!

BM Eating Contest Update

Mon, 04 May 2009 04:49:05 +0000

We now have a tie at 61 pts.

BM Eating Contest Update

Mon, 04 May 2009 04:48:20 +0000

One hour and ten minutes into the two hour contest, both contestants have stepped away for a quick cigarette. The current tally has Seth in the lead with 61 points, and Will following close behind with 56. Will poured a shot of Vodka in preparation to be tied with Seth upon return from their break. Stay tuned, it’s coming down to the wire.

BM Eating Contest

Mon, 04 May 2009 04:29:44 +0000

Currently in process; Seth and Will are battling in a heated, points-based eating contest. On the menu: 1/4 lb HotDogs @ 8pts. each. CornDogs @ 5 pts. Pizza Slices @ 3pts. Ham Sandwiches cut into quarters @ 2pts. per square. Salad @ 12 pts upon completion. 7pts per Beer. 5pts per shot of Vodka. Any puking is an automatic disqualification, throwing-up and swallowing it down again is a 1pt. bonus! With the loser having to visit Victoria Secret and pick out a pair of panties of his choice, of which he will have to wear without taking them off for one week. Oddly, it seems that both contestants are not too concerned about the consequences for losing. Video footage to follow…

Swine Flu Update

Fri, 01 May 2009 21:13:00 +0000

Recently, a member of the Brother Machine entourage began with the sniffles. As quickly as the words “Swine Flu” surfaced in the minds of Seth, Will, myself, and Ego, so did extreme paranoia. After a brief conversation discussing the future of our beloved fan, Ego took it upon himself to take control of the situation. As coughing and feverish episodes began to overtake our sickly friend, Ego decided to verbally abuse the symptoms (not our friend) with a slang-entrenched, “Spanish” tongue. Not fluent with this dialect personally, I was able to make out such words as “guey, pinche, and puerko.” Amazingly and very shortly afterwards, our most-beloved friend/fan began to see improvements in his health and seems to be on the road to recovery. I still don’t know how Ego worked his magic, or even if what he presented was cause for a cure, but it was very entertaining nonetheless. And Ego, as much of a little bastard he can be sometimes, did a wonderful job of not only consoling our sick friend and guiding him through a near death experience, but made clear to us all with one simple statement, “If I hear another fucking sniffle out of anyone, be prepared to be cursed at in Spanish.”

Oh by the way……

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:22:56 +0000

We are leaving for Great Barrington Massachusetts at 11:00 AM!
What do you think about that?

On our way

Brother Machine drummer kidnapped

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:52:57 +0000

At 5:25 PM this evening Brother Machine drummer Ego Grizzly was reported missing by Seth Gibbs, Ego’s best friend and fellow Brother Machine member.

This caper was short lived however as Ego was discovered just before midnight just next door at the Speedway Grocery.

Hunan, night clerk at the Speedway Grocery discovered Grizzly attempting to steal cigarettes from behind the counter. When asked for comment Hunan’s response was firm, “Fuck You. That bear can kiss my ass and you need to get out of my store until you put some clothes on.”

The local law will be investigating accusations that Ego was drunk and harassing female patrons while attempting to urinate in the ice cream cooler.

EGO lands a punch, Will turns Black&Blue w/stripes

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 01:24:10 +0000

Will of Brother Machine attacked by fellow bandmate EGO….(developing)….

Tuesday. April 21, 2009 Brother Machine

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:41:55 +0000

Tuesday. April 21, 2009

Brother Machine

has been “gone to you” since last year some time. This deploarable hiatus has been due, in no small part, to the cooperative acts of Brother Machine with several other bands who will remain anonymous within this context. We have been in full swing under the nameless guise of “Producer” on several earth shattering albums for which we will receive no credit. This being said (and done, no less), we are now working our asses off (as you can’t tell by this pathetic excuse for an intermediary website) on the NEW RECORD which will feature names, of which you are aware. As a band of many words and few sentiments, I will now leave this vaguetry, in all its lack of posterity, as a reminder to those who care to remember.

P.S. We are headlining Mayfest at Simon’s Rock in Great Barrington, Assachusetts. Fuck Yes! Thanks Poncho and Markus. We have begun our planning of a tour with The Bubbles later this year and it seems promising. Much more free and unfinished music is to come on this website. Sorry indeed for the delay.

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