Brother Machine drummer kidnapped
At 5:25 PM this evening Brother Machine drummer Ego Grizzly was reported missing by Seth Gibbs, Ego’s best friend and fellow Brother Machine member.
This caper was short lived however as Ego was discovered just before midnight just next door at the Speedway Grocery.
Hunan, night clerk at the Speedway Grocery discovered Grizzly attempting to steal cigarettes from behind the counter. When asked for comment Hunan’s response was firm, “Fuck You. That bear can kiss my ass and you need to get out of my store until you put some clothes on.”
The local law will be investigating accusations that Ego was drunk and harassing female patrons while attempting to urinate in the ice cream cooler.
